Which Woman Are You?

A dream… Jesus… three women of faith.

[Photo Cred: DreamsTime]

[The following paragraph is a paraphrase from “Streams in the Desert” by L.B. Cowman; updated by James Reimann.]

A woman dreamt that she saw three women kneeling in prayer and Jesus appeared. He approached the first woman, laid His hand upon her and gave her a loving glance and kind words. For the second woman, He placed His hand upon her shoulder and gave her His look of approval. As He approached the third woman, He barely looked her way and kept on walking. The woman who had the dream was saddened and perplexed. “What could that third woman possibly have done for Jesus to walk right past her and not acknowledge her at all?” Jesus appeared to her and explained, “The first woman believes in Me, but she’s uncertain, not deeply rooted in her faith and she needs My loving hand upon her and my kind words of affirmation. The second woman has a stronger faith, has committed to following Me and shares her faith. The third woman has fully surrendered to My will and ways. She never wavers, never falters in her faith, and trusts me fully.” (Of note, when I mentioned above that this is a “paraphrase”, it truly is as I’m writing this from memory, but the message is the same.) I also dropped this on my podcast – here is the LINK if you’d like to check it out.

I’ve definitely been Woman number one; especially in the very beginning of my faith walk. I believed, I was saved, I was baptized, but I still “didn’t know, what I didn’t know”, or fully understand what it meant to surrender. For most of my journey, I’ve remained steadfast, comparatively like Woman number two, my roots continually growing deeply in my faith. I’d drop my “stuff” at the foot of the cross, but sometimes I’d make my way back with a tote bag and “take back” some of the small stuff… the things that I thought I could handle on my own, that I didn’t want to “bother” Him with. Ultimately, I couldn’t even handle the small stuff, so I’d trudge back to the foot of the cross and overturn my tote bag, giving it all back to Him.

Ah… Woman number three! How I WANT to be HER! But truth to tell, I think I’d still like Jesus’ loving glance of approval (ego, I guess). But when I imagine being so fully surrendered and obedient, I sometimes feel “unworthy”. I’ve struggled with “unworthiness” for a good part of my life, going back to my adolescence and early adulthood. When I was in high school, I was somewhere in the “middle”. I wasn’t one of the popular girls, nor was I an athletic girl… just someone in the middle who showed up, made a couple of close friends, figuring that’s all I deserved. But when I became a Christian, I believed that I was worthy of Jesus’ love. That as a Daughter of the King and having been saved by the blood of Christ on the cross, I was worthy. Sometimes. Not all the time. But probably most of the time. My struggle with unworthiness ebbs and flows and no doubt this is what keeps me from moving on to be more like Woman number three. But that’s okay… I’m a work in progress!

Where are you in your faith walk? Which woman are you?

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” ~Proverbs 31:30

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” ~Proverbs 31:25

~Let Love Lead the Way~

[Social Media Links]

Advertisement

Can I get some earplugs, please?

It’s been so NOISY!

[Photo Cred: GoGraph]

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged because I’ve always felt as though I was divinely-guided to write, and I haven’t “heard” the Holy Spirit in a while. Not His fault by any means. Life has gotten in my way and I absolutely let it. COVID, weight gain, the loss of my job after twenty-four years, stress, anxiety, depression. (I wonder if I’ve forgotten anything?)

The cacophonous sounds of the world have overshadowed the tranquil and peaceful sounds of my love for Jesus and my faith walk. Sure, I’m in the Bible every day (which I committed to back when I was saved in January of 2017), but I’ve realized that of late, it’s become more perfunctory than with praise and thanksgiving. I’m ready to take my spiritual life back and in order to do that I need some earplugs. I want to drown out all of the noise in my life that’s constantly been living in my head. I want to fully turn back to God and fully commit to being a “good and faithful servant.”

During these last couple of years I have always remained thankful, grateful and blessed, never doubting for a minute how much God loves me and that He’s always with me. I’m not going to entirely blame the noise of the world for getting in my way and pulling me down. Apparently, I’d been a willing participant (insert eye-roll emoji here). Good grief. I’ve been so depressed, so anxious, so uncertain. But today, the Holy Spirit showed up and gave me a thoughtful and swift kick to get my attention and pull me out of the fog that I’ve been rolling around in.

There are so many uncertainties in our lives on this earth, but it’s with one-hundred percent certainty that when I’m done here, I know EXACTLY where I’m going and all I can say is, “Thank God”! Yes! Thank God for His gift of salvation and His promises. When I’ve let the world get in my head and in my way, my heart always knew that the eventual outcome would still be the same… heaven! But in the meantime, while I’m living in the here and now, I want to be deeply rooted in my faith, truly keeping my eyes on Him first and foremost.

When did I lose sight of Him? It’s like I was wearing glasses with an old prescription and I couldn’t keep Him in focus. I knew He was there, but it’s like there was a chasm between us. A large gaping ravine that I didn’t have the courage to attempt to jump over, so I didn’t even try. Had I been wearing the proper eyeglass prescription, I would’ve clearly seen His outstretched hand ready, willing and fully able to pull me across it and closer to Him. Even though He is always there, I have to put in the work. I can’t just expect Him to “fix” me. John 16:33 tells us that we “will have trials and tribulations”, but Romans 8:28 also tells us that “God works all things together for good”. I just need to remind myself that fully trusting in Him is all I need and He’ll take care of the rest.

Today, I chose joy when I woke up. It’s been a while since I’ve awakened with a light heart and I’m praying that my days ahead will be full of joy as I continue to rely on my confident, living hope…Jesus.

PRAYER: Thank You, God, for your steadfast and eternal faithfulness. I pray for clear discernment as I read Your Word so that I can “hear” what You’re saying to me. May my words, thoughts, actions, and deeds be true reflections of my life in You, and may I always share Your love with others. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
‭‭~John‬ ‭16‬:‭33‬ (‭NLT)‬‬

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
‭‭~Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ (NLT)‬‬

http://Www.instagram.com/tapintogodsword

~Let Love Lead The Way~

Snot-Sob Praying… Anybody?

Photocred: Dreamstime

I can’t imagine that I’m the only one who finds myself so overwhelmed with emotion when I start praying that before I know it, I’m “snot-sobbing”. The tears flow from my eyes with the same intensity as water gushing from an upcapped fire hydrant. They may be tears from suffering in some manner, be it anxiety, stress, depression, or feeling overwhelmed, but oftentimes they are tears of surrender in pleading to GOD, “Lord, PLEASE take it…take it all. I can’t do this anymore.” Followed by a ton of praise, thanking Him for His eternal faithfulness and every blessing.

Only recently did I realize that “surrendering to GOD” is NOT a “one-and-done” commitment. For the last four and a half years I’ve professed and confessed that I’ve surrendered to Him, but then there’s been this intense back-and-forth. I give it to GOD, then I take a little bit back. “I can handle this…it’s small, I don’t need to bother You with this.” And that “little thing” never seems to be resolved or finished, then I’m right back to surrendering everything to Him. He’s always willing to take it and then I’m on to the next thing until I start thinking that I can do “this” or “that” on my own. Before I realize it, I’m back at the foot of the cross with a tote bag and I’m stuffing some of the small stuff back inside. As I turn away from the cross I’m always thinking, “I just hate to ‘bother’ Him with these annoying little things; I’ve got this”, and I never look back because I’m pretty sure He’d be beckoning me to just “leave it”.

I return to my life, carrying the tote bag of the “small stuff” that I’m not supposed to “sweat”, and yet EVERY SINGLE TIME, I am, indeed, “sweating” it. I make my way back to the cross, overturning my tote bag, giving it all back to Him. This has been exhausting. Surrendering to GOD shouldn’t be so hard because He is ALWAYS in control. Even when I think I’m “controlling it”, I’m not…HE is. I’m pretty sure it’s related to my ego. The definition of “ego” is “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. I’m okay with the “self-esteem” part – everyone should have a good and healthy sense of self, but I’m much less impressed with self-importance. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been living a Christ-centered life for that long and I’m still a “work in progress”. What I DO know is that I TRUST GOD and His Word. What I DON’T TRUST is the world but let’s face it, I lived in the world for fifty-four years before I started living in the Word.

I’m just so thankful that when I do this “back-and-forth” of surrendering, there’s no judgment or condemnation. He’s always there every time I collapse at the foot of the cross and give it all to Him – the big stuff AND the small stuff. Sometimes I think if I could hear His voice, I might hear, “Terri, seriously, I DO want it all…you’re NOT bothering me. You’re my Daughter and I ALWAYS want to help you.” Perhaps it’s not just me typing those words and instead, I’m hearing them in my heart.

I always feel so much lighter after a “snot-sob-praying” fest where I’ve again, dumped everything at the foot of the cross. I’m tired of taking stuff back. I’ve come to realize that surrendering to GOD is absolutely NOT a “one and done”, and if that means I need to surrender to Him on a daily basis, so be it. I want Him to have it all so that I can concentrate on doing what He put me on this earth to do… spread the Gospel, serve others, and glorify Him.

Although I know He loves me with an eternal, unfailing love, I’m sure He’d like to see more from me than just “ugly crying”!

“Give all of your worries and cares to GOD, for he cares for you.” ~1 Peter 5:7

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” ~Romans 8:1

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

Swing and a Miss!

Photo Cred: Pinterest

I’m one of those “lefties” that’s totally ambidextrous. I only do a handful of things left-handed…holding a fork and spoon, writing, holding a pool cue stick. I do everything else right-handed, except that I do bowl with my right hand with a left-handed stance, so the ball inevitably hits the back of my right leg. I’ve TRIED changing my stance but at the last second, my legs do this little “hippity-skippity-doo-da” hopping thing and my right leg defies me.

It’s one of the reasons why I was never a successful softball player…not that I ever really tried. Sports (other than horseback riding competitions), weren’t my thing. But the few times I did try to play as a kid, swinging the bat right-handed was fine (I couldn’t even attempt it left-handed), but I also wanted to catch AND throw with my right hand because my left hand was weak, compared to my dominant right hand.

Why all of this, you ask?! It’s because Satan has been coming at me, HARD, for weeks! Nah, make that months! I feel like I’ve been trying to beat him off with a Louisville Slugger – both lefty and righty, but to no avail – I keep swinging and missing! I’m so frustrated! What’s the motive here? Does he think that just because I really haven’t been myself for the last several months – anxious, a little depressed (truth-to-tell), uncertain; that he can waltz right in and steal my joy? Fahgedaboudit! I may be struggling, but that’s between me and God. HE is my rock, my fortress, my protector. I need to get out of my own head and lean harder into Him. HE will always make a way for me. I just need to rely on Him and His promises. Although I know and believe all of this, I still feel vulnerable…like all of a sudden I’m naked in public with nothing to cover up with (an infrequent but recurring nightmare, unfortunately).

A fleeting thought entered my scrambled-eggs-brain recently as to whether or not there is anyone or anything that could ever make me turn from God. I’m ashamed that the thought even entered my head, but I knew the answer immediately…it was an emphatic “NO”. There’s no one, nothing – no circumstance – that would ever make me turn from Him. That thought was so comforting and convicting, knowing that no matter what I’m going through, especially difficult seasons and trials, I will never deny or forsake Him.

God knows what I need, when I need it. The issue is “me”…it’s “all me”. Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite verses and I’m always chastising myself to, “Shut up! Sit still and you’ll hear what God’s trying to tell you”. That lasts for what seems like a millisecond and then the anxiety and uncertainty of “whatever”, takes up the majority of space in my head. :::Sigh:::

I think what I need to do is put the bat down and refrain from giving Satan another fraction of my time. Okay, maybe just ONE more good, solid, swing – with my feet firmly planted in my faith, and then I’ll lay my bat down and start digging deeper into God’s Word and His Faithfulness.

“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” ~Isaiah 26:4

“The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” ~Exodus 14:14

“Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” ~1 Chronicles 16:11

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. GOD is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” ~1 Corinthians 10:13

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

Straddling the Faith Fence…

Photo Cred: KristinaAu

If I COULD whistle, I’d insert a :::long slow whistle::: right here! Wow! This has been a very long and difficult season, right? I know it’s not just me. With the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions and circumstances alone, life has been trying, to say the least.

Over the course of the last few months, I’ve experienced especially difficult and trying situations which led me to recently “snapping off”, losing my cool, cursing like a longshore man, flipping out…you name it, I was doing it. I was doing all the wrong things. Things that are not representative of me or my life as a Christian. Good grief.

On one occasion, I was in the car and I called my husband, nearly hysterical, asking him to, “PLEASE PRAY FOR ME! I’M LOSING IT!” I was yelling, “Lord, I need patience, peace, kindness and self-control!” And as I was saying all of that, it dawned on me and I yelled to him, “That’s it…THAT’S IT! I need the Fruit of The Spirit! You’ve gotta pray hard, Davey, ’cause I need a big ol’ fruit basket from the Holy Spirit! I mean the biggest one He’s got!” At that moment, I took a deep breath and calmed down and then we both chuckled a little over my “Fruit Basket” request. Not gonna lie, I’ve actually asked him a few more times to, “Please pray for a Fruit Basket for me!”

Photo Cred: Rose Publishing

So needless to say, during this difficult season, I’ve quite unfortunately found myself straddling the faith fence. Not that I’ve ever, or would ever, turn away from my faith, but I let the circumstances that presented themselves grab me as I straddled the fence, with one foot in the Word and one foot in the world, and yank me over to the world side. What was I doing there? I’m not of this world…it’s just a temporary place where I reside until I go HOME. I don’t wanna be in the world. I was so disappointed in myself for letting things that were out of my control dictate my behavior. Once I realized that I’m NOT in control, and that I truly need to put EVERYTHING at the foot of the cross, I did just that. Jesus didn’t take my place on the cross and shed his blood for me so that I could go through this life alone, struggling, stressed, and out of control. Sometimes it’s hard for me to really “Let Go, Let GOD”. I have posted this more times than I can count, so I don’t know why I struggle with it, but I’ll continue to work on it. Promise.

Having one foot in the Word and one foot in the world will most likely be a continuous spiritual battle, and I may find myself straddling the fence, but I refuse to let the enemy pull me over. When seeds of doubt are planted in my head that I’m “not good enough” or that I’m not “worthy” of God, His love or His plan for me, I won’t give it credence. Whatever the enemy is selling, I’m NOT buying!

After realizing that I was completely over the fence, knee-deep in the world, I prayed for God to grasp my hands, pull me out of the muck and mire, and hurl me back over the fence into the Word. And of course, because He’s so faithful, He did! As I landed on my backside, I thought to myself, “Well, I guess this is how His discipline works since I didn’t land on my feet!” I stood up and brushed off the back of my pants, turning to lean my elbows on top of the fence, looking out at the world. It became so clear to me that my feet were now firmly planted on the right side of the fence, in the Word, where the grass is always greener.

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” ~Colossians 2:7 (NLT)

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

Pardon me… Am I “Elderly”?

This has been rolling around in my head for about a week. Normally, I wait for the Holy Spirit to give me a nudge to write something related to my faith walk. This isn’t one of those times. It’s more of an anecdotal observation.

My beloved Dad used to always tell me that “people” consider other people “old or older”, if they are fifteen years older than themselves. So, sure…when I was 35, I totally thought that someone who was (gulp) “fifty” was “old”. As my parents grew older I kept pushing that mark out further and further. When my Dad was in his eighties (but he felt forty-five on the inside…I know, because I asked him after I screamed at him to “get down off that ladder!”), I wasn’t really thinking that 80-something was old as I watched him competently drive around doing errands, snow-blowing a driveway that could conceivably hold seven+ cars, mowing the lawn, balancing a check-book, etc. I finally had to accept he was “old” when he passed away at ninety.

I remember several years ago when I had just entered my fifth decade, I was in a store, seemingly minding my own business, when a young boy, maybe seven or eight, came careening around the corner into the aisle I was in and nearly knocked me over! I heard his Mom calling after him and as he ran back to her, breathless, I heard him say, “I just ran into an old lady”. Wait!! WHAT!?! “Old lady? OLD LADY? C’mere kid so I can wash your mouth out with soap!” – at least that’s what I was thinking, but the kid wasn’t wrong…he was eight-ish and I was fifty-something so yeah, for all intents and purposes and certainly by his account, I WAS an old lady! :::insert bawling face emoji here:::

This “getting older thing” has a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. Considerably less than a decade ago, I was slamming around on my Harley, riding fast, no hands, taking chances. Now? Fahgedaboudit! If I COULD manage to swing my leg over it and hoist it upright, that’d be about as much as I could manage. Oh, and that Harley’s for sale…hit me up and I’ll give you a good deal!

When I woke up one morning last year and looked in the mirror I was shocked! So shocked that I nearly banged my head on it as I zoomed in for a closer look. Neck wrinkles? Where did THESE come from! I didn’t have them the day before, but I’ve had them every day since. I really DO understand what my Dad was saying when I asked him how old he felt on the inside and he promptly replied, “Forty-five”. What I didn’t share was the rest of his statement which was, “I dunno, Tess…one day I woke up and looked in the mirror and there was an old man staring back at me and I have no idea when it happened.” :::Grabbing the tissue because this always made me cry!:::

How “old” do I feel? Well, on the inside, I’d say early 40-something. I dug my forties… probably one of the best decades of my life. I hadn’t hit menopause yet (perhaps that will be a forthcoming blog post), I got my motorcycle license at forty-two, I was pretty-much full of energy, I was killing it at work… working 10-12 hours a day in the office and probably another couple of hours at night when I got home. Raising two amazing kids along with my husband, and running a household. I was legit, killing it. And now, it’s all killing me.

I don’t have the stamina and physical strength that I used to have. My sharp-as-a-tack thought processes are more like a dull butter knife, sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes, and I just wasn’t expecting that. Honestly, I used to “pride” myself in telling everyone that I was gonna be “that 60 year old biker chick and that they’d have to pry those handlebars outta my cold, dead hands”. Well, the cold, dead hands part is right, anyway! (Thanks, carpal tunnel and ulnar nerve neuropathy!)

Age really IS “just a number”. Kinda like what’s displayed on my bathroom scale, which I’ve shoved in a corner until it apologizes to me! But in all seriousness, I know that each day is truly a blessing. Aging is a blessing. Not everyone is afforded the opportunity to grow old, and I don’t take that, or life, for granted.

My very best friend from high school (for over forty years) is my ride-or-die friend. We’ve been through so much together that I’m looking forward to growing older with her (and just for the record, she’ll turn 60 fourteen months before I do…just sayin’…).

Photo Cred: Pinterest

Ga’head, Father Time…add those wrinkles and age spots all you want! I’ll always be forty-something on the inside!

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

It all started at 1 Sand Hill Road…

I wasn’t familiar with “1 Sand Hill Road” in Salem, NH. I came across it through a mutual FB friend who had posted a video of her then 10 year old daughter being baptized. Granted, the video wasn’t taken at 1 Sand Hill Road, but at another location at 284 Kenoza Avenue in Haverhill, MA, but through that video and research online, I found 1 Sand Hill Road and what was located there. It was something I’d been searching for, for what seemed like years…decades…LOTS of decades.

On 1/28/2017, I walked through the doors of Granite United Church. I wasn’t sure what to expect as I had been raised Catholic and I hadn’t been very good at it. Throughout my adulthood, I desperately wanted a relationship with God but I just couldn’t seem to figure out the best way to go about it. I didn’t want to confess to a priest that I really didn’t know, who would be tasked to absolve me of my sins, and then “pay for it with penance”. If penance held monetary value, I’d most likely have been in the poor house. There had to be another way, a way in which I could have a direct line-of-sight to the Lord…an up-close and personal relationship with him, but it was taking me so long to get there because I just didn’t know where to begin.

On that day four years ago, I stepped into a “building” but immediately realized that the “church” was the people inside. The people who welcomed this newbie with a smile, a hug and a “We’re so glad you’re here”! (in my head I was thinking, “Really? You ARE? Good grief, I dunno… I’ve sinned, turned away from God, done some stupid things, but I’ll take your word for it.”).

I was spiritual and I prayed (at least every time I swung my leg over my Harley, asking God for his protection to and from my destinations). I prayed for things I wanted, good health, prosperity, for my family to be safe and well. I didn’t know what I “didn’t know”. As soon as the service began, I KNEW that this is where I belonged! And when the Lead Pastor (Anthony Milas), wearing his flannel shirt, ripped jeans and holding two Ninja Turtle Chia Pets, was “landing the plane” as he likes to call it when wrapping up a service, invited me (not just me, but everyone) who didn’t “know Jesus” to join him in a silent-in-your-heart prayer to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins, to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior, I cried as I said that prayer in my heart. I felt it to the depths of my soul which now belongs to Him. I finally was “in the know”, understanding that I didn’t need “religion” to have my personal relationship with Jesus. All I needed was Him. People spoke of the Holy Spirit and I didn’t realize it until much later, but what happened to me that day upon my salvation through Christ was a complete transformation from the person I had been “alone” in life. I was brand new in my life with Him, no longer alone, and was literally filled with the Holy Spirit. Aaannnddd I FELT it! I blew out of that parking lot, nearly careening on two wheels and leaving a 50-foot long patch of rubber (not hard to do when I was banging gears in my Mustang GT!) as I couldn’t WAIT to get home and tell my husband.

Ah, my husband. He didn’t see THIS coming! I rushed in like I’d just robbed a bank (sans the mask), breathless and on fire for Jesus! I was yammering away in excited animation that I FINALLY found a church where I belonged! Whoop Whoop! I think his response was, “That’s nice honey”; then nothing more or less.

Each week as I’d prepare to leave for church, I’d remind him that I was going and I’d toss out an obligatory invitation to which he always replied, “No, thank you.” On June 10th of that same year, I was baptized. My daughter went with me for family support and to top it off, I was baptized with my very best friend from high school who came to Granite shortly after I did because she saw things I was posting on FB and she was intrigued. Why? Because I was “different”…she’d known me for nearly 40 years at that time and she could see the change in me…for the better.

So here I was, in my new found faith with my bestie! We were learning how to read and interpret the bible, going to service every week, attending a ladies bible study, and serving in different capacities. Wow, was my life FULL! Brimming with the love of Jesus! I was taught that the four most difficult words to pray are, “Thy Will be done”. True. I had always wanted things my way (or you could unceremoniously take the highway). But now I was putting God first in my life – above everyone and everything. I wasn’t loving my husband, children and extended family and friends any less than before; quite the contrary. I was now being responsive instead of reactive. I had patience I never knew existed within me. My compassion (which I always had) grew immeasurably and I was doing something I really hadn’t done before…I was forgiving those that hurt me, in whatever manner – in big or small ways – and as soon as I started doing that, I could feel my heart and soul become lighter and I was no longer weighed down by holding on to resentment or grudges. This is God’s Grace.

My husband noticed the change in me, too. I think that perhaps he might’ve initially thought that this was “just a phase” and that sooner or later, I’d “drop it” and return back to my “old self”. I tried to explain that the change in my life was not my own doing. That my old self had died in baptism and that I was raised in new life with Christ. So, I just kept plugging along, going to church, inviting him to join me, always knowing that his response would be, “No, thank you”. I wasn’t the only one praying for him, either. All of my church family was praying for him, the ladies in my bible study were praying for him. There were Prayer Walls and Prayer Posters throughout the church and if I wrote his name down once, I must’ve written it a hundred times. Every time I looked at them, even from a distance, I could see his name…pick it out amongst hundreds of others. My bible study teacher who was my mentor and helped me immensely in my faith walk (but has since passed away), asked me, “Terri, when you pray for your husband to come to church, do you REALLY BELIEVE that God will answer that prayer?” Much to my embarrassment, I lowered my face and scraped the toe of my boot along the carpet and whispered, “No, not really.” She lifted my face and as was her way, she lovingly but sternly told me, “You HAVE to pray boldly and with expectation that God is going to move that mountain!”. I knew she was right, and from that moment forward my prayer life changed. I had to stop being my husband’s “no”, meaning that I kept telling myself, “He’ll never come to church”, and instead, I needed to pray fervently for him. I wanted him to have what I had. I wanted him to know the love, joy and peace that comes with salvation. So I started praying…boldly…in thanksgiving, praise and supplication. A lot of times it involved snot-sob-praying on my knees, but it was good… so good to surrender to my Lord and lay this at the foot of the cross and finally, not just believing, but knowing that He would move that mountain.

Christmas service of 2017 was just a week away and both my daughter and son said that they would go to church with me. I approached my husband and told him that me and the kids were going to church for the Christmas service and I asked him if he’d like to go. He again replied, “No, thank you.” I was happy that my adult children were going with me, but I was disappointed when my husband said “No, thank you.” I texted my daughter (or so I thought) which read, “Daddy said ‘no’…he’s not going.” Little did I realize that I had sent that text to my husband, but clearly it wasn’t by accident. I believe there was divine intervention! When my husband responded to the text, saying, “Guilt works…I’d like to go!” I jumped up and practically screamed I was so excited! I immediately reached out to my campus Pastor, Court Holloway, and filled him in. He put an alarm on his phone to “Pray for Dave” every morning at 6:00 AM (he’s pretty awesome). I was pulling out ALL the stops, letting everybody and their brother (and sister) know that Dave was coming to church for Christmas! And they all continued to pray (no doubt more boldly now), with his anticipated arrival for service.

We arrived at church and I introduced Dave to a number of my church family members and at every opportunity as I stood behind him, I would catch the eye of someone who’d been praying for him and I’d point to the back of his head and mouth the words, “This is my husband!”. He met a lot of people that day who welcomed him with open arms. The service was great and when we got into the car I desperately wanted to vomit all the words in my head out of my mouth…I had so much I wanted to say…so many questions that I wanted to ask and, instead, the Holy Spirit convicted me and what came out of my mouth was, “I’m so glad you came today. I hope you enjoyed it”. Dave replied that he liked it and that he thought the people were so inviting and really nice. I had a sewing needle with some black thread in my handbag and considered sewing my lips shut so that I wouldn’t bombard him with everything I wanted to say, but thankfully I didn’t have to take such drastic measures!

During the week following his first service, Dave was in the kitchen texting someone and under no other circumstances would I ever ask him, “Who are you texting?”, but before I knew it, those words escaped my lips (thank you, Holy Spirit!), and he replied, “Pastor Court and I have been chatting”. Me on the inside: “Pastor Court? PASTOR COURT?! Are you KIDDING ME?! You’re chatting with my Campus Pastor?”. What I actually said, ever so nonchalantly was: “Oh, really? That’s nice”. Then he put his arm around my shoulder, tucking me into his chest, so naturally I took the opportunity to peek at his phone. He smiled and turned to me and said, “That’s RIGHT, I’m going to church on Saturday.” I think my knees buckled a little, not gonna lie, and I fought back tears of joy. I hugged him so tightly and told him how happy I was that he was joining me again at church. And THAT Saturday (December 30th, 2017) was THE day! The day that my husband said the “quietly-in-your-heart” prayer and was saved. He became a Warrior for Christ and our lives have NEVER been the same! Here I was, albeit not-so-humbly, thinking my testimony was pretty awesome…then along came Dave! I still cannot watch his Testimony Video without bawling my eyes out because of not only the change in him and our marriage, but because God DID move that mountain…and I watched him do it! He is such a good, good Father!

On February 3rd, 2018, just a little over a month from the day of his salvation, Dave was baptized. I was asked by the lovely woman who’s in charge of the baptisms if I’d like to read his testimony. Naturally, I said, “yes”, then bawled like a baby. I asked her to keep it a secret as I wanted to surprise him. And surprise him I did! As he stepped down into the baptismal pool, I was already standing on the platform to the far right, microphone in hand and ready to go. I knew he didn’t have his glasses on, so I stepped forward, close enough for him to see me and said, “Surprise!”. I could tell he was overwhelmed with emotion and I could not be more proud of his powerful testimony and I was humbled beyond measure to be able to share in this life-changing moment with him.

So here we are, four years later. Saved, baptized and still on fire for Jesus.

I don’t know where you are in your faith, but if you don’t “know” Jesus, you’re missing out. Take it from a way-more-than-middle-aged couple that your lives can be “forever changed”. That you will have abundant love, joy and peace in your hearts that comes from one source and one source only…JESUS! He is the HOPE of the world.

Even through this pandemic, we haven’t lost faith or hope. We are leaning into Him and His Word more now than ever, relying on His faithful promises. We’d love for you to have the same.

If you’re unsure of how to begin a relationship with Jesus, you can say this prayer:

“Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.”

Welcome to the Family of God!

I invite you to check out service times (both online and in person) at: www.graniteunited.com/locations

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” ~John 3:16

“But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” ~John 1:12

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

Overcoming Fear with Faith

Overcoming-fear[Photo Cred:  Wildwood Health]

 

It’s no coincidence as I sit here, drinking my third cup of coffee in my “Psalm 46:10″ mug, that I was moved to write about “overcoming fear”.  Honestly, that thought incites even more fear in my mind.  That mole hill inevitably becomes a mountain that I DON’T want to climb.  As I look up at the enormous, anxiety- and fear-filled mountain before me, I’m thinking, “How can I overcome my fears?  My fear of failure, of not being good enough, worthy enough, dedicated enough, kind enough, loving enough?  How can I quiet my heart and mind in a way that assures my shaky-self that “I’m fine” (really fine)?”

Most often my mind is filled with thoughts of humility, gratitude and thankfulness, but sometimes it’s like a junkyard… filled with treasures of yesteryears that are now rusty and unusable, but were once pristine and fully-functional.

For those of us who suffer from anxiety and/or depression, we curse our brains for betraying us with fear-filled thoughts.  We certainly don’t want to be anxious, riddled with worry and angst, but those thoughts and feelings invade our thinking, nonetheless.  When I begin to feel “less than” myself, I know where to turn.  Four years ago, I didn’t know where to turn and I suffered a lot of the time; most of the time, but now, thankfully, Christ lives in me.  I have the eternal love of God and His faithful promises, knowing that He’s “got this”.  And when I begin to suffer, I turn to Him and lean into His Word.  It’s right there, in black and white, that I belong to him and He will never forsake me.  That promise, alone, is enough to drive away thoughts of fear and anxiety, and as I dig deeper into His Word, I am blessed with the comfort and healing that only He can provide.

phil4v13

[Photo Cred:  Bible Go To Verses]

 

Overcoming fear with faith leaves me feeling empowered, resolute, determined to not let my fear become bigger than my faith.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your GOD; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

“For GOD gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”  ~2 Timothy 1:7

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”  ~John 14:27

God’s promises are amazing and eternal.  His faithfulness endures.  When those anxious thoughts seep into those imperceptible cracks in my mind, I remember Who I belong to… Who has my back… and Who will always be for me; never against me.  I gain comfort, strength and wisdom when I surrender to God and let Him be in control.  FAITH > fear.

~ ♦ ~

Of note:  I’ve developed a Bible Reading Plan on “Overcoming Fear” for the month of September in my FB Bible Journaling Group, and I invite anyone who’s interested to join.  If you’d like to see examples of bible verse mapping, journaling, etc., check out my Instagram – Peaceful_Planning.  I also have a Podcast – “Walk In Faith”  where I talk about anxiety in Episode 3.  You can also access any of these through My Linktr.ee

Prayer:  Father God, please take away any fearful or anxious thoughts that are clouding my mind today.  Replace them with your love, peace, comfort, strength and wisdom.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP

 

 

God Loves You, Whether You Like It Or Not!

I came across this pic somewhere on Facebook a while ago and saved it to my phone.  I don’t remember who posted it, so I’m unable to give credit where credit is due!

GLY

I haven’t blogged in a while, the reason being is that my writing has to come to me by way of the Holy Spirit.  There have been many times when I’ve sat down at my computer thinking, “Today’s a great day for a blog post”, and then I sit there…and sit…and sit, and I resign myself to the fact that, “I’ve got nothin’!”  When I recently poured over my previous blog posts, I realized that with each of them I was “moved” to write them.  A theme, phrase or word would be rolling around in my head (or maybe it was my heart), and as soon as I’d sit down to write, the words flowed effortlessly and that’s when I realized that they weren’t even my own.  Okay…maybe a few.

Prior to beginning my Christian walk (three years ago this month), I knew ABOUT God, but I didn’t KNOW Him.  I knew He existed – I never doubted that for one second – but what I did doubt was that I was important to Him, nor did I understand the unfathomable and eternal depths to which He loves me.  Let’s face it, I was a more-than-middle-aged woman, banging around on a Harley with a mouth that would make a longshoreman blush.  I wasn’t a “bad” person, but I was so far from God that I just figured that it was too late for me.  Too late for me to truly know the forgiveness and love of Jesus, too late for me to have a brand new start.  I was so ill-informed.

I gave my life to Christ the same day I walked into Granite United Church.  There, the Holy Spirit and I were formally introduced when I closed my eyes and prayed for Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to be my Lord and Savior.  I was forgiven, I was saved and I became a child of God, just as is promised in John 1:12 ~ “But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.” (NLT)  What an AH-MAZING GIFT!  It still blows my mind that with that one decision to cross the line of faith, I had a brand new life in Him!

As I eagerly delved into my new life, which of course included reading the bible, I felt somewhat hesitant, intimidated, unsure if I would truly absorb His Word and be able to apply it to my life.  I mean the “old me” was lingering around (thus, the feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt were gnawing at me), but thankfully the “new me” began to feel empowered and confident.  I was blessed to participate in a weekly women’s bible study, the teacher of which I will never be able to thank enough for her guidance, friendship and mentorship.  If someone would have told me a few years ago that I would become a Born-Again Christian, that I would put Jesus first in my life, watch Him move mountains that I was convinced would NEVER move, and that I would think the bible is the coolest book EVER, I would’ve rolled my eyes into the back of my skull and I shudder to think of what would’ve come out of my mouth!  :::Whoops!:::

But here I am…living a new life…a life filled with joy, peace, love and HOPE!

God loves you, whether you like it or not….and I LOVE how He loves me!

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.  With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” ~ Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)

#LetLoveLeadTheWay – TP

 

 

 

Yup…it’s still dead

My old life, that is.  I’m happy to report that it’s still dead as a doornail.  I was baptized two years ago today and my new life in Christ has been, and continues to be, an amazing journey.

Before turning my life over to Jesus in January of 2017, I had been desperately searching for “something”, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  There was a whole host of things that I was seeking:  peace, joy, tranquility, strength, courage, protection and grounding.  Sometimes I felt as though I was hovering a few feet off the ground, longing to land so that I could keep moving forward, instead of being tossed around, to and fro, back and forth.  Good grief, SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!

And there He was…in the waiting.  He was always there, but somehow I thought I was too insignificant, very unworthy, too sinful, not good enough, so I never really turned to Him.  I was afraid.  I thought, ‘He can’t help me’, or ‘Maybe He wouldn’t want to help someone like me’.  I was someone who knew about Him, but never really connected with Him or got to know Him on a personal level.  I believed in His awesome power and greatness and I guess that left me feeling intimidated, that I just wasn’t important enough…that He had bigger fish to fry than to help me.  Like most people, I don’t like to be ‘wrong’, but I was SO WRONG when it came to that way of thinking.

Jesus didn’t come down from heaven as the Son of God to help and save religious zealots.  He came to save the broken and the lost.  He came to teach, to heal, and to redeem.  During my second or third time attending service at Granite United Church, I remember Pastor Anthony Milas speaking about a herd of sheep, and posing the question, “If you had ninety-nine sheep and one was lost, would you leave the ninety-nine to go find the lost one?”  In being a brand-new Christian, in my head I was thinking, “Nah, fahgedaboudit…I wouldn’t leave the whole herd of sheep for just ONE!”  Yeah…I totally missed the message that day…but not for long!  My head’s been buried in the bible every day since.  I seek His Word and His Truth first and foremost.  I get it now…about going after that “one lost sheep”.  At one point in my life, I WAS that “one”.

Don’t think for one minute that you’re “not worthy”, or that you’ve done too many terrible things that your life cannot be forever changed by the blood of Christ.  He’s always in the waiting.  His invitation to come to the table is an open one.  If you weren’t aware that you’ve always been invited… YOU’RE INVITED!

I have only one regret – that it took me over 50 years to realize that I was invited to come to His table.  I’m so thankful that when I pulled up a chair and sat down, I was welcomed with opened arms.  I was forgiven.  I was saved.  My old life died in baptism when I was submerged in the water and my new life in Christ began when I was raised up.

 

061017-TP-Baptism (2)

Romans 6:4 ~ “We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life”. (ESV)

 

~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP