Photo Cred: KristinaAu
If I COULD whistle, I’d insert a :::long slow whistle::: right here! Wow! This has been a very long and difficult season, right? I know it’s not just me. With the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions and circumstances alone, life has been trying, to say the least.
Over the course of the last few months, I’ve experienced especially difficult and trying situations which led me to recently “snapping off”, losing my cool, cursing like a longshore man, flipping out…you name it, I was doing it. I was doing all the wrong things. Things that are not representative of me or my life as a Christian. Good grief.
On one occasion, I was in the car and I called my husband, nearly hysterical, asking him to, “PLEASE PRAY FOR ME! I’M LOSING IT!” I was yelling, “Lord, I need patience, peace, kindness and self-control!” And as I was saying all of that, it dawned on me and I yelled to him, “That’s it…THAT’S IT! I need the Fruit of The Spirit! You’ve gotta pray hard, Davey, ’cause I need a big ol’ fruit basket from the Holy Spirit! I mean the biggest one He’s got!” At that moment, I took a deep breath and calmed down and then we both chuckled a little over my “Fruit Basket” request. Not gonna lie, I’ve actually asked him a few more times to, “Please pray for a Fruit Basket for me!”
Photo Cred: Rose Publishing
So needless to say, during this difficult season, I’ve quite unfortunately found myself straddling the faith fence. Not that I’ve ever, or would ever, turn away from my faith, but I let the circumstances that presented themselves grab me as I straddled the fence, with one foot in the Word and one foot in the world, and yank me over to the world side. What was I doing there? I’m not of this world…it’s just a temporary place where I reside until I go HOME. I don’t wanna be in the world. I was so disappointed in myself for letting things that were out of my control dictate my behavior. Once I realized that I’m NOT in control, and that I truly need to put EVERYTHING at the foot of the cross, I did just that. Jesus didn’t take my place on the cross and shed his blood for me so that I could go through this life alone, struggling, stressed, and out of control. Sometimes it’s hard for me to really “Let Go, Let GOD”. I have posted this more times than I can count, so I don’t know why I struggle with it, but I’ll continue to work on it. Promise.
Having one foot in the Word and one foot in the world will most likely be a continuous spiritual battle, and I may find myself straddling the fence, but I refuse to let the enemy pull me over. When seeds of doubt are planted in my head that I’m “not good enough” or that I’m not “worthy” of God, His love or His plan for me, I won’t give it credence. Whatever the enemy is selling, I’m NOT buying!
After realizing that I was completely over the fence, knee-deep in the world, I prayed for God to grasp my hands, pull me out of the muck and mire, and hurl me back over the fence into the Word. And of course, because He’s so faithful, He did! As I landed on my backside, I thought to myself, “Well, I guess this is how His discipline works since I didn’t land on my feet!” I stood up and brushed off the back of my pants, turning to lean my elbows on top of the fence, looking out at the world. It became so clear to me that my feet were now firmly planted on the right side of the fence, in the Word, where the grass is always greener.
“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” ~Colossians 2:7 (NLT)
~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP
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