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I’m one of those “lefties” that’s totally ambidextrous. I only do a handful of things left-handed…holding a fork and spoon, writing, holding a pool cue stick. I do everything else right-handed, except that I do bowl with my right hand with a left-handed stance, so the ball inevitably hits the back of my right leg. I’ve TRIED changing my stance but at the last second, my legs do this little “hippity-skippity-doo-da” hopping thing and my right leg defies me.
It’s one of the reasons why I was never a successful softball player…not that I ever really tried. Sports (other than horseback riding competitions), weren’t my thing. But the few times I did try to play as a kid, swinging the bat right-handed was fine (I couldn’t even attempt it left-handed), but I also wanted to catch AND throw with my right hand because my left hand was weak, compared to my dominant right hand.
Why all of this, you ask?! It’s because Satan has been coming at me, HARD, for weeks! Nah, make that months! I feel like I’ve been trying to beat him off with a Louisville Slugger – both lefty and righty, but to no avail – I keep swinging and missing! I’m so frustrated! What’s the motive here? Does he think that just because I really haven’t been myself for the last several months – anxious, a little depressed (truth-to-tell), uncertain; that he can waltz right in and steal my joy? Fahgedaboudit! I may be struggling, but that’s between me and God. HE is my rock, my fortress, my protector. I need to get out of my own head and lean harder into Him. HE will always make a way for me. I just need to rely on Him and His promises. Although I know and believe all of this, I still feel vulnerable…like all of a sudden I’m naked in public with nothing to cover up with (an infrequent but recurring nightmare, unfortunately).
A fleeting thought entered my scrambled-eggs-brain recently as to whether or not there is anyone or anything that could ever make me turn from God. I’m ashamed that the thought even entered my head, but I knew the answer immediately…it was an emphatic “NO”. There’s no one, nothing – no circumstance – that would ever make me turn from Him. That thought was so comforting and convicting, knowing that no matter what I’m going through, especially difficult seasons and trials, I will never deny or forsake Him.
God knows what I need, when I need it. The issue is “me”…it’s “all me”. Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite verses and I’m always chastising myself to, “Shut up! Sit still and you’ll hear what God’s trying to tell you”. That lasts for what seems like a millisecond and then the anxiety and uncertainty of “whatever”, takes up the majority of space in my head. :::Sigh:::
I think what I need to do is put the bat down and refrain from giving Satan another fraction of my time. Okay, maybe just ONE more good, solid, swing – with my feet firmly planted in my faith, and then I’ll lay my bat down and start digging deeper into God’s Word and His Faithfulness.
“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” ~Isaiah 26:4
“The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” ~Exodus 14:14
“Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” ~1 Chronicles 16:11
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. GOD is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” ~1 Corinthians 10:13
~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP