My tears are flowing without control today. Just when I think they’ve stopped, they come again. They seem to have a life of their own, separate from me…from who I am.
It’s as though there’s a hole in the top of my head, and someone is pouring a bucket of water into it. The water’s only release is through my eyes and it’s gushing out.
I know that it won’t always be like this, but I also know that it’s going to take time for that hole to close up… for the water to stop cascading out of my eyes.
There’s also a hole in my heart. Bigger than I could have ever imagined, and yet, it keeps beating, allowing me to be thankful for another day.
I tell myself that I’ll be okay and eventually I will be. I need to stop being so hard on myself; he’s only been gone for such a short time and yet, it feels like eternity.
The greatest thing about love is that it never dies. It remains forever, throughout time and space. When we lose someone we love so dearly, even though we can’t see them anymore, the connection of love is eternal.
I will always be so thankful for the man who taught me everything I needed to know about life and love. Who assured me, as I sobbed at his bedside when he was dying, that “You don’t need to do that because you’re stronger than you think.”
I’ll never forget those loving words… that beautiful gift he gave me. He was an amazing man and I will always, ALWAYS treasure my memories… my 50+ years of memories in which I knew every second of every day how much he loved me and what I meant to him, and what he meant to me.
This isn’t the end. I know that when my heart stops beating and I take my last breath, he’ll be there, waiting for me with his arms spread wide open, and he’ll wrap them around me in a loving embrace. He’ll be just as happy as I will in that moment and the love and light will shine so brightly. Our souls will be together and finally…FINALLY…I know that my tears will stop flowing.
~Let Love Lead The Way~ TP